You are not what you’re going through
Last night I decided to read my Bible before I went to bed. You see last year I started reading the Bible again, but I began to study it. I had a plan to read one chapter a night so every night I would read one chapter before bed. It became a part of my routine. But lately, life has been hitting me like a ton of bricks and I recently experienced something that has forever changed me. With everything that’s been going on, I haven’t had the energy to read my Bible like I used to. Last night instead of going to bed I went to my office/prayer room and forced myself to read the next chapter I was on and I’m glad I did.
After reading Exodus 17, a couple of things stood out to me.
I noticed that even when the Israelites were complaining against Moses and ready to turn on him, he never stopped praying to God.
I noticed that Moses also had people by his side to help him when he got tired.
I noticed that Moses named the place they were at, “Yahweh-Nissi (which means the Lord is my banner). I take that to mean that the Lord is clear representation of what we go through.
All of these are important points to hold on to, but last night I believe God wanted me to pray. Like I said, with the way life has been lately, I hadn’t had the energy to do anything … even pray.
Fun fact about me: I like to write my prayers down.
After reading Exodus 17, I started to write down my prayer and as the young folks say now …. God was eating me up (or should I say, God was clocking my tea).
I couldn’t even finish writing out my prayer be for the Lord started going in on me. The last thing He said to me was “I have to heal you so that I can use you. So worry about being healed. Don’t stop praying and if you don’t know what to pray, just say Lord I need you.”
Now if you know anything about me, I sometimes I have to get the last word and so I started thinking of a rebuttal but then God hit me with “I got you Destiny. Just trust me.”
The only problem is, I don’t doubt that God had me. I think I just don’t know how to deal with everything. And that was the straw that broke the camels back.
Can you believe they God literally yelled at me. I’m saying the Holy Spirit was in me just yelling at me. He said, “just give it to me!”
So that is what I had to do. As I played the song Take it to the Lord in Prayer, by Nolan Williams, Jr., tears ran down my face. Simply because I needed to take everything I have been dealing with to the Lord in prayer.
You see, maybe it’s just me…but so often we hold on to our experiences because they make us who we are. Our experiences support how we feel, which in turn supports how we act and behave.
“Oh, this guy broke my heart — so now I am heartbroken, and now I have to act irritated because I’m holding on to that hurt.”
Or…
“I’m broke — so now I am stuck, and now I move like someone with no hope.”
So often we move based on what our feelings tell us we are.
We feel lonely, so we remove ourselves from our friends to make the feeling true.
We feel sad, so we bury ourselves in our thoughts to make the sadness true.
We become how we feel and that is not what God wants for us at all.
Our feelings are fickle and always changing and because of that, what we think about ourselves is always changing and that’s not what God wants for us. God wants us to consistently think and see ourselves how He sees us.
God wants us to let go of what we think things should be and hold on to what He knows it will be. Because at the end of the day what God knows is constant because He is the author and finisher of our faith.
So stop thinking of yourself as what you are experiencing.
Let go of what YOU think is the only way and grasp hold of the Lord.
Tighten your grip on how the Lord feels about you.
Tighten your grip on what the Lord thinks about you.
Tighten your grip on what the Lord says about you.
And walk in what the Lord says because He has the final say.
